Functional ≠ Optimal: The myth of the functional alcoholic.

“He’s/I’m a functional alcoholic.”  Sound familiar?

I hear this all the time from spouses, children, parents and individuals themselves. What exactly does this mean?   

Usually it describes an individual who is observed (by others or self) to be drinking too much while at the same time saying, “There’s nothing to see here, everything is fine.”

But is it?

We know that alcohol impairs judgement so if you’re telling yourself everything is fine, well, let’s be honest, you may not be the best judge here.   The label “functional alcoholic” implies that there is no harm to anyone else, and your telling yourself “I’m functioning just like I would if I wasn’t drinking.”

What is likely happening is that you have developed tolerance for alcohol, think physical dependence, that allows you to drink heavily, maybe daily, while not appearing to be out of control.  

The fact is you’re not in control.  The fear of withdrawal keeps you drinking and as the effects wear off the anxiety and stress returns.  You cope by drinking, but that’s not a skillful response.  It’s not control.  It’s a habit.  And while some habits are necessary (we don’t want to have think about getting dressed), when alcohol becomes your primary coping skill it’s a sign you’re not functioning anywhere close to optimal.

Then there’s alcohol affect on your sleep, which increases stress and decreases performance.  It messes with what you eat which has a major impact on your mood. And then of course, you drink more.

And what about your relationships?  

Does your partner or spouse think you are operating at your optimal level?  Do you act the same as you did before you were drinking heavily?  I can tell you from countless encounters with spouses of “functional alcoholics”, that’s a big N-O.   The same goes for what your children or parents think.

And then there’s your health.  While you may think you’re “functioning” the alcohol is slowly, but literally eating away at your body.  Liver, pancreas, heart, kidney, you name it, if it’s a part of your body, it’s slowly being destroyed by alcohol.  That of course includes your brain.  Alcohol weakens your immune system and  increases every kind of cancer including breast cancer. And this just in: heavy drinking, like those who consider themselves functional alcoholics, has been show to hamper the body’s ability to develop immunity against Covid—even after getting vaccinated.

What’s the solution then?  First it’s about agreeing that functioning ≠ optimal.  And optimal is where we all want to be, to thrive, not just “get by”.  We only get one shot at this and it’s unlikely that anybody responded to their second grade teacher about their hopes and dreams and said, “Yeah I just want to get by.”

What would help you thrive?  Cut down, or stop completely?  I believe in meeting people where they’re at, not where someone else wants them to be.   

But basically there’s 4 pillars. 1) Detox to stop drinking and reassess goals.  2) Quelling the inner critic that drives the shame-drinking cycle 3) Maximizing wellness to strengthen and heal your brain. 4) Healing the family— educating them about addiction and teaching the communication skills to support you, and themselves.

You’re worthy of living an optimal life. You deserve to thrive.  I’m a licensed independent chemical counselor and life coach.  I’d love to help. Message me here, or call/text 513-666-1413, email Mark@mindsatpeace.net, or schedule an appointment directly from my website homepage.

You owe to yourself, and those you love. An optimal life.