Say what?!

Think about it.  Know anyone, maybe you, who drinks alcohol or smokes weed and is not addicted?

Of course you do.

So if all it took was for someone to ingest a substance to become addicted, everyone would be addicted.

But that's not what happens.

There must be more to it.  And there is.

Genetics matters.  Epigenetics, that is the environment surrounding an individual, as well as lifestyle choices all make a major contribution to the development of an addiction.  But remember, no one ever in the history of mankind first tried a substance with the goal of becoming addicted. No. One. Ever.

Addiction wouldn’t happen on a deserted island.  It takes interactions with people.  Trauma, neglect, chronic criticism and feelings of rejection to name a few, all involve people. No one lives in a vacuum (or a deserted island).

There's no blame towards anyone.  Even when I have clients who share emotional, physical or sexual abuse, I don’t spend time or their mental energy playing the blame game.

But understanding is crucial.

Understanding that addiction grows out of "fertile addiction soil". That soil is a combination of those genetics (if you must blame someone blame yourself for not picking better genes) + all the things that happened to you growing up + things that reinforced all the things that happened to you growing up + the choices you made to deal with all the crap you had to deal with growing up.

Got that?

Without that fertile addiction soil, simply consuming a substance or engaging in a behavior will not lead to an addiction all by itself.

If you understand this you will no longer look negatively at someone challenged by substances or a behavior.  That perspective allows you to engage in a way that produces a garden of flowers, and not weeds.

No garden of course is totally without weeds unless you use massive amounts of other harmful chemicals. But you can learn to water the flowers and pick the weeds to develop a soil rich in empowerment, confidence, kindness and love.

If you or someone you love could use a healthier garden, let me help. Email at Mark@mindsatpeace.net

Happy gardening!