Matthew Perry and Addiction

This is the letter I wrote to the New York Times in response to a recent story discussing the criminal case involving Matthew’s Perry death. This comment was written to help people move beyond that narrow focus. It received over 900 recommendations. I wanted to share it here.

Substance abuse counselor here.

Whenever I have a conversation with an individual or family member challenged by some kind of addiction the only time I mention the word “blame” is to say I don’t use the word blame. I use the word “understanding.” I get this is now a criminal case and legally people will be held responsible, but even in situations that don’t involve the justice system (which is most of them), people too often get stuck in resentment and blame.

Mr Perry didn’t use ketamine (alcohol, cocaine) because he was an “addict”. He used those substances because he was in pain. First emotional, then a combination of physical and emotional. If you need to find blame, hang it on genetics and neurophysiology both impacted by epigenetics (environment).

People like Perry use substances or behaviors to relieve pain, help them sleep, manage anxiety, be accepted, etc, all in an attempt to feel normal. No one ever in the history of the human condition started a substance or behavior with the GOAL of becoming addicted. No. One. Ever.

I understand some want to focus on the economic and social issues of this now criminal case. That’s not my area of expertise. But how about instead we focus our energy on the question Dr. Gabor Mate asks. “Don’t ask why the addiction. Ask why the pain?”

Love to hear your thoughts.